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linuxdoctor
Infallible Persona
Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Posts: 1203
Location: Ottawa, Canada
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 Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:19 am Post subject: Comparative Religion |
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I found this on another side. Lest anybody take this seriously let me state up front that this is a joke.
I would make this one modification to the list in its definition of Catholicism:
Traditional Catholicism - Only Catholics can play with the toys.
| Quote: | Secularism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican - They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
Baptist - Once played, always played.
Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Liberalism - I feel good playing with toys, don't you. That is why I know I am going to heaven
Republicans - If you don't repeal this tax on all toys, you will go to hell.
Judaism -- He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.
Baha'i Faith -- Let's play with our toys together.
Baptist -- We have played with this toy this way for years, and we are not going to change.
Presbyterian- These toys were chosen for you to play with and these were chosen for me to play.
Apostolic Faith (Oneness Movement) - There is only one toy, and it is in our church.
Crystal Cathedral - There are no bad toys, and no bad toy players.
Methodist - Toys are toys are toys.
Assembly of God -It doesn't matter how you play with the toys as long as more people join in with you.
Name-it-Claim-it - I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys. I have toys.
Word of Faith - Send me $100 and I will tell you "How you TOO can have more toys."
Witchcraft - Toy making is killing our Earth Goddess.
Lutheranism -- We are justified by toys alone through play (and not by work, lest anyone should boast). |
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Misanthrope: someone who realizes that humans really are as stupid as they appear.
If you think I'm 'politically' incorrect you have the wrong politics. |
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kenoodo
Lifeless Person
Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Posts: 1087
Location: MengDai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 8:16 am Post subject: |
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If my toy is my life, no one above is the right definition that fit mine most.
I am playing with my toy, sometime I aware that, sometime I don't care much, sometime I don't know what am I doing, and I doubt if everything is so true. I get tired and I sleep, when I wake up, it happens again. |
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marinaroz
Grey Scaled
Joined: 04 Mar 2004
Posts: 2765
Location: Israel
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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Heh, that's some list. Not all of them are particularly funny though (and Republicans isn't a religion... or is it?).
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wellingtonboots
Lifeless Person
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 471
Location: London
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Xtreme
Lifeless Person
Joined: 14 Aug 2004
Posts: 1311
Location: New Orleans, LA, USA
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 10:31 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry. |
| Quote: | | Lutheranism -- We are justified by toys alone through play (and not by work, lest anyone should boast). |
Hehe. Nice. 
| Quote: | | Word of Faith - Send me $100 and I will tell you "How you TOO can have more toys." |
So true.... I've seen a commercial saying something along the lines of "To begin YOUR relationship with Jesus Christ, just call 1-800-###......"
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Smoke Da Smoove One
Master Poster
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 222
Location: Dominica.W.I. The Nature Isle Of The Caribbean.Come visit Our Boiling Lake And Other Natural Feature
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| Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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yo what about satanism?
how are toys applied to that religion?
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clpo13
Zarkin' frood
Joined: 18 Nov 2005
Posts: 1210
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 1:49 am Post subject: |
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In Satanism, I am the toy and that's all that matters.
Or so I'd gather from what I know of Satanism.
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"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism." --Thomas Jefferson
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Duck
Pinko Liberal Communist
Joined: 21 Dec 2004
Posts: 1558
Location: Canada
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seren
Sands' Groupie
Joined: 03 Dec 2004
Posts: 1139
Location: Wales
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| Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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| They missed out Pagans! Not all Pagans are Witches. I guess it could be "our toys never break, they just get mended as new and different toys and are played with again"! |
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dylan2xs
Forum Regular
Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 367
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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Well with so many religions in the world today that i think the only way to find out which is the one true religion would be to keep a very open mind and try to understand all other religions instead of being reclusive and stubborn with one's own perspective. so lets be an open minded toy.  |
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