DeadlyXScreams Experienced Poster

Joined: 18 Feb 2007 Posts: 50 Location: United States, Texas
|
Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: Hope |
|
|
I fall into the darkness
Unsure, unknowing, of what is to come,
With the hope it will be better than all that has come before,
With hope that maybe it will pull me from this darkness,
Save me, from all the curses life has bestode upon me
But as before, my hope is shattered,
Like glass thrown to the ground, left and forgotten,
My hope is not destroyed though
More burdens are placed upon my back causing me to fall even further into the darkness of despair, away from the light
But will this let down bring me to my destruction,
My disappearance from the world,
For as long as I have hope
The knowing, that one day I will reach the light,
The knowing, that all my burdens will soon be lifted from me,
And I will be weightless and fall up towards the light,
Gives me the strength to hold on, the strength to fight, to not let the darkness consume my soul
Hope is all I have,
Hope is what keeps me moving
The striving to keep going,
To hold on to all I have left,
The strive is not burning with the coals of hatred for all that has happened to me and will happen,
But with the coals of hope, hope for a better tomorrow
For a moment I believe I have moved closer to the light,
When I look up it is proven true,
I have moved slightly,
Small it may be, but I have moved none the less,
And I know,
That small movement is just the beginning of many more,
It will grow and I will reach what I long for most.
To be in the light of happiness,
And free from my troubles, and the troubles to come
Call me optimistic,
But the optimism I have is what has kept me alive,
It’s what kept me from letting my self be consumed
By the darkness’s fire and take all that I have left
This hope that I have will free me one day,
But if I give it up I surely will disintegrate in the darkness,
And all will be lost,
All that I have accomplished, everything, will be ripped to shreds
As I inch towards the light feeling the weight lighten,
I close my eyes, and feel the weightlessness,
Only to find when I open them not darkness but light,
I am closer than ever before,
I am in the light,
I feel all my troubles slip from my mind and out of my life,
All my burdens gone,
I am free,
And I HOPE one day that all others will share my happiness,
And will find their light,
And use it to take away the despair that led them to the darkness in the first place, they must remember,
That all is never lost, for they have their hope,
And that is one thing that can’t be taken away only given
And hope will overcome all and bring you closer to what they long for, the light of happiness. |
|
dragon52225 Experienced Poster
Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 58
|
Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Very well written!
But, I have only one objection
I think the lines:
| Quote: |
With hope that maybe it will pull me from this darkness,
Save me, from all the curses life has bestode upon me
|
Don't exactly flow, maybe syllable count? I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to me. |
|
DeadlyXScreams Experienced Poster

Joined: 18 Feb 2007 Posts: 50 Location: United States, Texas
|
Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| dragon52225 wrote: | Very well written!
But, I have only one objection
I think the lines:
| Quote: |
With hope that maybe it will pull me from this darkness,
Save me, from all the curses life has bestode upon me
|
Don't exactly flow, maybe syllable count? I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to me. |
Thank you I'll change it around a little bit I don't do that much but I agree I usually just write what comes to my head, I hardly every change anything. |
|