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SE13
Proud Londoner
Joined: 18 Apr 2005
Posts: 1667
Location: Wherever I Lay My Hat, That's My Home
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 Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: USA To Scrap Dollar |
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| Quote: | The United States is to abolish the dollar and adopt the euro, according to a surprise announcement by the US Department of Monetary Policy.
In a move that will to herald a seismic shift in the global economy, the US will, in the words of government spokesman William P. Flanjingle, "play a proud and vital role in the shaping of a new economic order."
The President is expected to issue an official statement later today.
Rumours had been swirling in recent weeks that the US government was considering a drastic solution to the recent collapse of the dollar. But analysts and politicians have still been taken unaware by this historic and startling decision. One of the first to issue a public rebuke was Representive Tom Plunger of Jackson County.
"This isn't about markets or business or stuff like that," he said. "This is about our culture, our very society, being sold off to the Europeans! Why do you think we renamed French fries freedom fries? To stop something like this from happening!"
The move is thought to be linked to the oil market, as the falling value of the dollar has severely reduced the spending power of super-powerful oil cartel OPEC.
By replacing the dollar with the euro, analysts believe the US will be able to boost oil production and slash prices.
"This is a good move for the country and for the world," Monetary Policy spokesman William P. Flanjingle said in his speech. "We're only changing the currency, and have you ever seen a euro banknote by the way? They're actually very colourful and a lot of fun."
The news is bound to increase pressure on the British government to sign up to the single currency as well. Reacting to this sudden turn of events, eurosceptic MP Roderick Smiley has already issued a fresh call for a referendum on the euro.
A frontbencher, who asked not to be named, meanwhile told us that the atmosphere in the Commons is "tense, mysterious, scary and exciting. It's like you know something's about to fall on you from a great height and it's either going to be a beautiful naked woman or a big bag of cow dung. One's slightly better than the other, but you'd rather neither did, really."
The Prime Minister is scheduled to deliver his response to the US adoption of the euro at 12.00pm this afternoon. |
© Virgin Media
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Voldemort
Unhandled Exception
Joined: 27 Apr 2005
Posts: 948
Location: In a Galaxy far, far away
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Have a good month! 
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ClickFanatic
Est. 2005
Joined: 18 Jan 2005
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Location: A particular geographic area
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Rashy
Lifeless Person
Joined: 25 Sep 2006
Posts: 661
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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Now the Euro is **** 
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SE13
Proud Londoner
Joined: 18 Apr 2005
Posts: 1667
Location: Wherever I Lay My Hat, That's My Home
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:07 am Post subject: |
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I could have gone with a number of stories, but chose this one as it had slightly more believable names! One story I saw had the name "Ura Schmuk".
All in the name of a bit of fun!
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mellymoo
Lifeless Person
Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 554
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:38 am Post subject: |
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not having a go at you personally SE13, and i know this is only a joke, bla bla bla
but imo it must be one of the least believable April fools jokes out there - simply because every man, and his dog, knows the USA will NEVER get rid of the dollar! Hell, they won't even change the size or colour of each note to help out blind or partially sighted US citizens!!
i don't get the big deal with keeping the "greenback" . The US dollar must be one of, if not THE most boring-looking, uninspired currencies in the whole world! |
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ClickFanatic
Est. 2005
Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 3926
Location: A particular geographic area
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:48 am Post subject: |
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| mellymoo wrote: | | but imo it must be one of the least believable April fools jokes out there - simply because every man, and his dog, knows the USA will NEVER get rid of the dollar! Hell, they won't even change the size or colour of each note to help out blind or partially sighted US citizens!! |
That and of course the fact that it is not for them to decide, but for the European Central Bank. Also, the USA should first become a member of the EU, which would be funny actually, because nearly half of the EU would be on another continent if they did.
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mellymoo
Lifeless Person
Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 554
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:51 am Post subject: |
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| ClickFanatic wrote: | | mellymoo wrote: | | but imo it must be one of the least believable April fools jokes out there - simply because every man, and his dog, knows the USA will NEVER get rid of the dollar! Hell, they won't even change the size or colour of each note to help out blind or partially sighted US citizens!! |
That and of course the fact that it is not for them to decide, but for the European Central Bank. Also, the USA should first become a member of the EU, which would be funny actually, because nearly half of the EU would be on another continent if they did. |
lol - well, yeah, there's always the fact it's not in Europe to consider too!  |
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SE13
Proud Londoner
Joined: 18 Apr 2005
Posts: 1667
Location: Wherever I Lay My Hat, That's My Home
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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It fooled a few on another place I frequent! And the abundance of those users are American!
That said, it is all in the spirit of a bit of fun, and should be treated as such.
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spock
iSpock
Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Posts: 2899
Location: The Netherlands
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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| mellymoo wrote: | | but imo it must be one of the least believable April fools jokes out there - simply because every man, and his dog, knows the USA will NEVER get rid of the dollar! |
Bush has to hate the fact the dollar's losing it's position as the most important/powerful currency.
Too bad it isn't true, it would actually be quite nice
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ClickFanatic
Est. 2005
Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 3926
Location: A particular geographic area
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:05 am Post subject: |
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Being a European, I quite like the weak dollar. Many American products are much cheaper now.
For people in the US, however, it is not very pleasant. The weak dollar and the credit crisis are causing higher prices for many products. Especially the imported ones.
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RohitMalhotra
The Crazy One
Joined: 14 May 2005
Posts: 852
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coralvalley
Lifeless Person
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 918
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| Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm a little behind on reading this one, but it was a good one for the day. It's funny how some actually fell for it, but nice work with that one. It was an interesting read even with the obvious motivation behind it. |
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§ KillJoy §
Novice Poster
Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 6
Location: United States of America
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| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| I doubt that the dollar will dissapear or be abolished. The Euro is definately what I would my money in right now though. |
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LP-SolidRaven
Dictator of the Dump
Joined: 06 Jun 2004
Posts: 7108
Location: The cheese is made out of moon
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| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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Please don't revive old threads. Especially not 1st April jokes please
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<bart416> I just realized something
<bart416> we celebrate the fact that this piece of rock made one rotation around a glowing ball of plasma that is kept together due to its own gravity well
<njsg> HAPPY NEW YEAR
<Easter> ^^
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